What is a "normal" thrusting rhythm, and what is an "abnormal" thrusting rhythm? That is the question. Can it dare be said that there is indeed such a thing as a normal thrusting rhythm? Does a man with a foreskin have a different thrusting rhythm from a man without a foreskin? And what effect does a man’s rhythm have on a woman’s pleasure during intercourse? What effect does it have on her ability to have a vaginal orgasm?

Nature endowed us with the potential to achieve orgasm and provided our sex organs with physiological mechanisms that are designed to bring on orgasm in ourselves, and in our partner, just from the interaction of the genitals and body contact during intercourse. In effect, then, it could be said that nature intended the sex organs of each partner to help bring the other to orgasm. And men usually have no problem achieving orgasm from the vagina during intercourse. So why should so many American women have trouble with the penis bringing them to orgasm? Rhythm! The secret is in the rhythm of a man’s thrusting movements. Here are two survey respondents’ comments:

The lyrics of a popular song put it crudely but succinctly, "It ain’t the meat, it’s the motion." Many women would probably agree that the size of the penis in itself has little to do with the pleasure a woman experiences during intercourse. However, I think virtually all women would agree that motion* has everything to do with it. In her best-selling book, How To Have An Orgasm...As Often As You Want, Rachel Swift says, "Of the scores of women I have spoken to, all agree that a consistent rhythm in the buildup to orgasm is critical" (1).

This chapter will demonstrate that the presence or absence of a foreskin makes a definite and discernible difference in the movements of the penis during intercourse:

A man with a foreskin thrusts his penis more gently, using strokes that are lighter in pressure, shorter in length (while deep within the vagina), and more consistently regular in rhythm. Since the natural penis tends to stay more deeply embedded in the vagina using short strokes, it brings the man’s pubic area in frequent contact with the woman’s clitoral mound, allowing her clitoris to be pressure-pleasured more often, and at a consistent rhythmical rate throughout much of the intercourse experience. Further, the woman’s pleasure is often enhanced when his short strokes quicken into a rapid, exciting rhythm that can best be described as jiggling or diddling.

In contrast, the circumcised man thrusts his penis harder, using strokes that are more forceful in pressure, longer in length, and he often uses a thrusting rhythm that is discordantly irregular. His elongated strokes cause his pubic mound to make infrequent contact with the woman’s clitoral mound. And when he does make contact, especially when he quickens the tempo of his long, hard thrusts, he often bangs his pubic mound and pelvic area against the woman’s genital region.

Here are what some survey respondents had to say:

The thrusting techniques and rhythms of the natural and circumcised penis are determined by these major factors:

These, as well as other factors, are influenced by the presence or absence of a foreskin.

The two types of penises have different primary pleasure zones. The primary pleasure zone is the area of the penis where a man experiences most of his pleasure during intercourse. For the natural penis, this area is in the upper area of the penis; for the circumcised penis, it is in the middle and base area of the penis.

Although the entire penis is sexually sensitive during intercourse, nature intended the male to derive most of his sexual pleasure and orgasmic build-up from the upper part of the penis. That’s why nature densely packed this area with supersensitive nerves and then covered them with the outer foreskin to protect them from stimulation until sex takes place. By concentrating most of the penis’s sexual firepower into this localized area at the forefront of the penis and making this the primary area of activity, it minimizes the distance the penis has to travel during its inward and outward strokes to induce and sustain a high level of pleasure. This is one of the reasons why the natural penis thrusts with shorter strokes. Much to the delight of the participating woman, because as stated, the movement of these shorter strokes, thrusting while the penis abides deeply within the vagina, allows the man’s pubic mound to make frequent pressuring contact with the woman’s clitoral mound, which is her primary pleasure zone. This rhythmic frequency of contact excites her sexually throughout the act and helps her achieve a vaginal orgasm—an orgasm induced solely by the movements of intercourse.

One survey respondent explained it this way:

In contrast, for the circumcised penis, the upper penis nerves are not the primary source of pleasurable sensations. Circumcision significantly damages the functioning of this area. Consequently, the nerves of the upper penis cannot generate enough pleasure sensations to satisfy the pleasure centers of the brain. The circumcised penis finds it can derive greater pleasure by stimulating its middle and lower area against the vaginal opening. To stimulate this longer area, the circumcised man thrusts with an elongated stroke that pulls more of his penis out of the vagina on the outward stroke. This reduces the amount of time the penis stays deep within the vagina. These elongated strokes cause the male’s pubic mound to make considerably less contact with the female’s clitoral mound* and at the wrong rhythmic frequency, which hampers her ability to achieve an orgasm from the movements of intercourse. The survey respondent last quoted had this further comment:

Both types of penises fall into a thrusting rhythm pattern that feels right for them, and both derive various amounts of pleasure from their thrusting strokes. Even though the two penises have different thrusting techniques, each man thinks his penis is using the right thrusting rhythm because, to him, it just feels "right." However, keep in mind that the woman is on the receiving end of the penis and, for her, the two thrusting techniques feel quite different and affect her overall appreciation of the experience. The following are four women’s comments:

Nature designed the female sex organ to experience a certain thrusting rhythm (i.e., frequency and consistency of pressuring contact on the clitoral mound) in order to enhance a woman’s pleasure and build her up to orgasm. When a man’s thrusting rhythm feels naturally "right" for the woman, and at the same time feels naturally "right" for him, they have found nature’s ideal thrusting rhythm. Since nature designed the male sex organ with specialized anatomical parts (like the foreskin) to bring about this compatible rhythm, and also designed the female sex organ with specialized anatomical parts (like the clitoris) to pick up on the man’s gentle rhythmic pressuring, then this compatible, ideal rhythm must be nature’s natural or "normal" sexual thrusting rhythm.

Excision of the foreskin causes the penis to thrust with an unnatural, elongated stroke and an inconsistent, irregular rhythm, which put the man’s and woman’s movements out of sync with one another. Thus, it must be concluded that the circumcised penis thrusts with an abnormal thrusting rhythm.  (This will be further explained later.)

Why does a man thrust during intercourse anyway? Why doesn’t he just rest his penis inside the vagina and bask in the delight of the vagina’s warmth and softness? He thrusts in order to stimulate nerves on and within his penis, which in turn "fire off" sensations of pleasure. After these pleasure nerves have fired off, they require a split-second rest from stimulation in order to recharge themselves for the next firing. We will learn that thrusting not only stimulates, but also serves to give sexual nerves a chance to rest from stimulation. That is, the nerves stimulated on the inward thrust rest during the outward stroke, and vice versa.

To better understand the rest requirement of nerves, try this little experiment. Take your finger and run it lightly and slowly in a wide, circular motion around the underside of your wrist. Notice the pleasurable sensations. This is an erogenous zone. The touch of your finger excites nerves on your wrist to fire off sensations of pleasure. Now, move your finger around the underside of your wrist again, slowly and lightly at first, but gradually increase the speed until you are going quite fast. You will notice that the pleasure sensations are strong at first, but as you speed up your finger rhythm, the pleasure sensors in your wrist seem to go numb. This is because the nerves need a certain amount of time to recharge themselves before they can refire, and if your finger stimulates them before they recharge, they yield little or no sensation.

This same principle applies to the penis, which finds that varying the tempo of its thrusts affects how strong a feeling its nerves give off and how quickly they flow in succession through the nervous system. By moving about (thrusting) inside the vagina, the penis is seeking to find the right motion and rhythm that will send a high level of continuous pleasurable sensations to the brain. It is important to understand that during intercourse, it is the penis that controls its thrusting motions. It automatically seeks out the best pleasure sensations and moves accordingly. The conscious mind doesn’t even have to think about it, for the conscious mind yields its control completely to the penis’s quest for pleasure. In effect, a man’s thrusting technique and rhythm are controlled by the penis, not by the man’s conscious mind.

This is an essential concept to understand, because after foreplay, it is the penis that sexes the woman, not the man, and as I’ve contended, the kind of sexing the penis gives a woman has a positive or negative effect on her attitude toward the man as an overall person, impacting the overall relationship.

The vast majority of surveyed women noticed that their natural lovemaking experiences were more sexually and emotionally satisfying, but some were reluctant to attribute this directly to the penis. Instead, some explained that sex and the relationship were better because the man was more emotionally sensitive, more caring, and a more wonderful person. In effect, they wanted to say that it was the man, not the penis.

Likewise, if they found their circumcised experiences unsatisfactory, they were also reluctant to attribute this directly to the penis. Instead, they would explain that the sex and the relationship weren’t as good because the man was a less considerate lover, or he was less sensitive emotionally, or they weren’t really in love with him, etc. In effect, again, they wanted to attribute the unsatisfactory sexual and emotional relationship to the man, not the penis. Here are a few quotes representing the quandary some women had in this regard:

In general, if a woman had wonderful lovemaking experiences with a man, she tended to speak glowingly of him and the relationship. On the other hand, if the sexual relationship was unsatisfactory, unfulfilling, and frustrating, she tended to be critical of the man and attributed their unhappy relationship to his faults. But perhaps, in many cases, it is actually the other way around. Perhaps the dissatisfying, displeasurable sex caused her to be much less tolerant of the man’s faults and nitpick him for things she might otherwise overlook if he were pleasing her in bed.

Let me give you an example of the subtleties of this. In a situation where the husband lets his appearance slide on the weekend, a woman in a bad sexual relationship might say: "When you don’t shave, you really look terrible." A woman in a good relationship might phrase it this way: "You look so much more handsome when you shave." In another example, the man gives his wife a little pinch on the bottom in company when no one is looking. In a good relationship, the woman might say, "You’re acting like a teenager, but I love it." A woman in a bad relation-ship might say, "You’re so immature. I wish you’d grow up."

The influence of the penis can be so subtle it can often go unrecognized. As noted in Chapter 2, Drs. Phyllis & Eberhard Kronhausen addressed this transference effect in their book, The Sexually Responsive Woman:

One should not...be surprised to hear that failure to achieve sexual happiness is likely to have an adverse effect on the woman’s total relationship with her partner and may lead to the breakdown of their relationship.

This does not mean that such a couple would themselves be aware of the sexual roots of their problem.... In many cases, the couple do not quarrel at all about their sex life, but may violently disagree on a variety of irrelevant matters (2). (Emphasis added)

Some women had had numerous circumcised relationships, but when they "found" a man with a natural penis, they characterized him as being more gentle, more caring, more emotionally sensitive, a better lover, etc. For some reason this man was not only a better lover but had more of the qualities they were looking for in a partner. Is this just coincidental? How much of it was the man, and how much of it was the penis? How much does the lovemaking ability of the penis influence a woman’s overall attitude toward the man in general?  Let us consider this concept in the next comment.

Certainly, non-sexual factors enter into a woman’s overall appreciation of a man—looks, personality, financial security, etc. But if all things were equal, and it were possible to have two men with equally pleasing looks and character traits, etc., the man who is the better lover would win out over the man who displeases a woman in the bedroom—every time. Moreover, if we were to find repeatedly that this better lover was a man with a natural penis, then we begin to see how important a role the type of penis plays.

The type of penis a man has controls its thrusting movements in the bedroom, and this affects a woman’s appreciation for the sex act and influences her attitude toward the man as an overall person. After a Sunday morning of sex, she may either want to throw a shoe at him to vent her frustration or make him breakfast in bed to show her appreciation. She may then carry one of these attitudes with her throughout the next day or week of the relationship.

As you read the rest of this chapter and the next chapter, ask yourself from time to time: Is it the man or the penis? Then ask yourself at the end: Which of these two combinations would give a woman greater overall satisfaction: a wonderful guy with a circumcised penis or a wonderful guy with a natural penis? I addressed this in the survey with the following question:

In response to the above, the overwhelming majority of women (89%) chose the natural penis. The comments from one survey respondent below clearly show what I am trying to say about the question, "Is it the man or the penis"?